I’ve gone insane; rather I’ve placed my sanity in the care of another
And while it was the sane thing to do, it was also a declaration of trouble…
It’s like ecstasy, giving my body that rush of euphoria
Chemical X changing this horrid reality into utopia
Pill after pill I indulge, pushing myself closer to the edge
But this rush is not one at all, because I will never fall
So I thought…
Internally my body rages at lethal temperatures
But I brush my hands against the cold bumps on my skin
Shaky hands reach for what is now my lifeline
I tilt my head back and inhale the vapors, my eyes roll
I’ve surpassed the cloud of nine…I’m much higher
The height fitting for a King…yet I wear no crown
In a matter of days, I crash into the sea
Swimming with those who have fallen off their high into their somber state of being
They too have lost the appeal of life from their eyes
I must have more…
My body aches for it, and I can hear the faint beat of my heart
I’m an addict; addicted to the hardest drug of them all…LOVE
…I need help
Every breath I take to explain my problem, shaves a minute off my life
But still I deliver the truth…
I was never fond of religion, but between the cracks of her lips I found Heaven
Purpose was found…
Now a reformed Man, I walked amongst the lost ones
Those who have lost love…abandoning the light of the sun
Through their rhetoric, doubt circulated throughout my mind
Yet, with her Eyes, she could ease any thoughts and numb any pain
Her drug was LOVE…and she had conquered the inner sanctums of my soul
When she willfully surrendered her body to me…
My discovery was the treasure that entrapped me
As I explored, I now grew to love the slippery slopes of Hell
…This kind of pleasure had to be a sin, but for this I would bargain with the Devil
Losing my mind, I’ve become unstable in this place
And in her presence, I’ve become vulnerable…From a King to a mere Mortal
I now run away from what I seek…
That feeling of wisdom not yet gained, or…
Pleasure incomparable to all satisfying things…
LOVE is the hardest drug of them all, but it is also my Salvation
Monday, December 26, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
In This Skin Of Mine
Born of the sinful flesh of my father, while the holy blood of my mother pumps through these rugged veins
Take note that I am my fathers son but my mothers child
And all the while I struggle In this skin of mine
With its regal complexion and rough texture
Was being in this skin one of Gods sick gestures?
Ironically through my mothers religion I found the Bible, yet I also stumbled upon the cold depths of hell,
I ran away from redemption to play chess with the light-bearer
Strategic moves to regain the upper hand of some odd 22 years that had passed
And at last we reached a conclusion, there would be no victor just a Draw
I never knew my father and for all I knew he resembled the man I had played chess with
Once Siamese twins, now complete strangers, I bore a mark on my side to remind me of my origin,
Yet when I stumbled upon him…this man bore no mark, just a cold glare into my heart
I credit my Mother for raising me into a Man, but it was my Father that bestowed upon me that writ of passage before I uttered my first words
In my world he stood as Caesar, but taught me to be Brutus
When it came time for the Dictator’s demise…I couldn’t
My hands were fickle; unfit for the task…after all I Am a reflection of Him
In this Skin of Mine…
I walk the walk of my bestial ancestors, and speak the tongue of knowledge that rose from the African Basins,
Each step on the pavement into modernity, was a conviction of my weary soul
As I transcended into a Higher Class, bearing brandings of Movado and Louboutin
My life was as relevant as Sisyphus’s eternal task…
No matter how much I rise, my Bravado is severed, reminding me In this Skin of Mine…
…I am Black
In this Skin of Mine…
The choice between athleticism and intelligence was nothing more than a communal decision,
And at the age of 6 I was given my first toy…a basketball
365 days of the year was committed to playing the game
And at the age of 17 I could shoot, defend, and dunk
By 21, I found fame at the rim…
…I also found a NOOSE
In this Skin of Mine…
Take note that I am my fathers son but my mothers child
And all the while I struggle In this skin of mine
With its regal complexion and rough texture
Was being in this skin one of Gods sick gestures?
Ironically through my mothers religion I found the Bible, yet I also stumbled upon the cold depths of hell,
I ran away from redemption to play chess with the light-bearer
Strategic moves to regain the upper hand of some odd 22 years that had passed
And at last we reached a conclusion, there would be no victor just a Draw
I never knew my father and for all I knew he resembled the man I had played chess with
Once Siamese twins, now complete strangers, I bore a mark on my side to remind me of my origin,
Yet when I stumbled upon him…this man bore no mark, just a cold glare into my heart
I credit my Mother for raising me into a Man, but it was my Father that bestowed upon me that writ of passage before I uttered my first words
In my world he stood as Caesar, but taught me to be Brutus
When it came time for the Dictator’s demise…I couldn’t
My hands were fickle; unfit for the task…after all I Am a reflection of Him
In this Skin of Mine…
I walk the walk of my bestial ancestors, and speak the tongue of knowledge that rose from the African Basins,
Each step on the pavement into modernity, was a conviction of my weary soul
As I transcended into a Higher Class, bearing brandings of Movado and Louboutin
My life was as relevant as Sisyphus’s eternal task…
No matter how much I rise, my Bravado is severed, reminding me In this Skin of Mine…
…I am Black
In this Skin of Mine…
The choice between athleticism and intelligence was nothing more than a communal decision,
And at the age of 6 I was given my first toy…a basketball
365 days of the year was committed to playing the game
And at the age of 17 I could shoot, defend, and dunk
By 21, I found fame at the rim…
…I also found a NOOSE
In this Skin of Mine…
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