Conflicting Thoughts (Black is Beautiful)

It’s a routine
This Struggling Start
Wake up…
Walk Downstairs…
Sit in the kitchen making the same ol’ breakfast that is never desired
My Day, transpires…
From none other than
Thoughts in my head
Spread on a white page…inspired by the way I was taught in first grade…
I read…
Trying to make sense of this book…published by my mind
Illustrated by the media
…Fill in the blank…
My Black is Beautiful because…
BING
…Shit
The Toaster goes off…just another day
Belly full of burnt eggs and black toast yet…
I’m suppose to believe black is beautiful…
Once again, convinced otherwise
It’s only as attractive as it’s demise

The time of day where the owls sing, spawns the birth of ill thoughts
But come time for sunrise to my surprise it shines bright… On my Regal Skin
Gradients and Shades of the finest textures
It seems God hired the most seasoned crafters…when he made Us…
Tailor-fitted to endure all levels of hell, and still I excel
And in my dullest form I am brighter than a prism
Even though my mind has been sentenced to death in societal prison
Still…Black is Beautiful

Mentally incarcerated…
Sentenced to Life…
Free me from… My Self…My Thoughts
My Skin…That’s Dark…
My Hair…It’s coarse…Us, Africans, were cursed
With a blessing in disguise
But why must my beauty hide
Help me to understand this Black without eyes

Words from the blind, when your eyes are closed darkness is your guiding light
And no man can truly define the meaning of beauty
For with his words the term has already been tainted, defiled, and irrelevant
But when I look at your skin, I find the relevance
Your “Nappy” hair is as enriched as Jerusalem
Eyes tell the stories of Kings and Queens
And the blood of Scholars flows through your veins
Yes, you are Black…In Fact…
It is a color only fit for those who have transcended space and time
… and survived

Remember this; under your flesh exist the “whiteness” of your soul that hides
Which means that your regal exterior is a symbol of pride
Wear it like you wear your clothes…protect it like you do your heart
I suffered the pain of these conflicting thoughts
So you could understand beauty is not seasonal
With these words, my seed will know that being Black is nothing less than Beautiful


*Collab poem by Myself and Deb Martins